Ghost
by Aryn Jean
Summary: He thought he was upset that she didn't even look back. . . . But then, she did.


Dark heels clicked the pavement of the wet and rainy London streets, echoing into the dark night air. Normally his steps were hard, precise, and most of all, practically on perfect beat. But not tonight. His feet slipped and jiggled and were at best staccato in rhythm.

He was drunk. He didn't know how drunk, and he didn't particularly care. Tonight, like a million other nights but certainly not any recent ones, she was in his head again, haunting him, tearing up memories he couldn't decide if he wanted to remember. His steps were frantic and jumbled as the agony in his heart, the anger boiling in his blood, the emotions like a catfight in his head.

He was traveling in the direction he knew she had gone, with _him_, unsure whether or not he would catch up. He didn't know what he would say or do when he got there. He just had to see her. Stumbling, he continued to lurch forward, his cloak billowing unevenly behind him.

It was as if the rest of the world around him turned gray when he finally saw that lick of fiery red hair over the horizon, next to that matted brown…

_Severus stood in a darkened corner of the brightly lit bar, watching the sickeningly sweet reunions of old friends one by one before his eyes. He saw people he knew. He saw people he hated. Not once did he see anyone he liked. But, of course, was there ever anyone he _did_ like?_

_He looked down at the wine in his hands. He'd had a few drinks already, but it all seemed to numb whatever it was he was feeling. Whatever it was that had brought him here in the first place. He didn't know if it was pain or hope, or both - perhaps just shattered hope._

_He couldn't deny it to himself anymore. He didn't expect to meet up with everyone here and smile and laugh about the "good old days," because there never were any. Not with anyone but the one person he knew he had _really_ come to see. Her. Lily Evans._

_He hadn't seen her for years, and he knew it was entirely his fault, and he didn't know how she would react to seeing him here. Maybe she would pretend he wasn't there at all. But then, of course, he could at least watch her from afar. Like he always had. It would be comfort enough._

_It seemed as if he'd stood for hours in that corner, ready to give up, before it happened. Normally it was her hair he noticed first. This time, he saw a stark white dress poke out of the crowd, followed by her flowing ginger locks._

_The dress flared out at the bottom, with tiny rounded straps up top. She looked like a virgin sacrifice. So beautiful, so pure. Untouched by the hatred and darkness currently consuming _his _life. He always wondered how he could want her so badly, yet could associate nothing but purity and innocence with everything he loved about her. He couldn't bring himself to deflower her even in his mind, even as a teenager as starved of sexual release as he was._

_She looked at him, and, _Merlin_, she smiled. Beneath those freckled, fair cheeks and her stunningly piercing green eyes that he so missed, she smiled at him once more._

_And, for the first time in about as long, so did he._

"_Severus," she said. "I've not seen you for awhile."_

_It was an understatement. Perhaps intentionally._

"_How are you?"_

_He honestly had to wonder. His life hadn't improved since she walked away from him in the courtyard that day. It didn't improve when he joined the ranks of the Death Eaters. But with how elated he was so see her perfect rose-colored lips curling again, he could answer nothing but "wonderful."_

"_No way. Is that Snivellus?" Severus heard from afar._

_He turned, and so did Lily. She smiled again. He didn't._

_James Potter sidled over to the reunited friends. Lily didn't tear her adoring eyes from him._

"_Just playing, mate," He said, giving Severus a playful punch on the arm, as if it made all of those years of taunting disappear. "How've ya been?"_

_Severus could only stare. It kept him from punching the bloke in the face._

_James's smile faltered a bit. "Say, uh, Lil, wanna get out of here?" He threw an arm over her shoulder like she was some stripper he found in a club. It was like her perfect white dress was tearing as he watched, becoming grimy and filthy and revealing more than Severus had even fantasized about at his touch._

_Her eyes lit up. "I'd love to." She turned back to Severus. "Great seeing you, again. Really."_

_Her gaze turned back to the man on her arm, and Severus watched them head toward the door. He thought he was upset that she didn't even look back. . . ._

_But then, she did._

_She looked right at him, and walked out the door with Potter. That bloody _prick_, Potter. At that moment he knew she knew everything, and she wanted him to see her, to want her, to miss her. He read it perfectly, in her perfect green eyes. . . ._

_The last thing he remembered was his mind reeling in the insanity of it all, and Lucius finding him through the crowd, telling him he looked like he'd seen a ghost. For all it mattered, he had._

_And the next thing he knew, he took off out of the bar after her, the world spinning around him and losing himself in the back of his head as his every emotion and desire moved his body forward._

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><p>Here's the deal, readers - I'm making a bit of a game about this. This fic was based on a song. It should be fairly obvious if you've heard it before, but if you can be the first to correctly guess it, either in reviews or in a private message (if you can do that, I have no idea, I haven't been on FF in a long time) I will do a request of a one-shot inspired by a song of the winner's choice. Any pairing they so choose as well, though I can't make too many promises about Drarry, I'm just not very good at Drarry to be honest, but I will do it if the winner so requests. =P If you don't know the song, don't worry - the inspiration for the next one-shot will be secret, and you will be able to guess that one as well. =D I hope enough people like this fic for this to actually work... LOL. Anyways. Thanks for reading, and get to that guessing!<p> 


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